The Simple Tool I Use to Stay Calm during Stressful days as a Data Scientist
(It costs $5 on Amazon)
When I first started out as a data scientist, I was a ball of stress.
Same stack, same hours as everyone else on my team, but I felt like I was constantly on edge. One of my teammates would get assigned a tough project and handle it calmly, like it was no big deal.
Meanwhile, I’d be the one sweating, reacting too fast, and sometimes even snapping in meetings.
Sound familiar?
It’s not that I wasn’t capable.
I just didn’t know how to manage what was going on inside. And here is what I eventually realized: the problem wasn’t the emotions. The problem was how I reacted to them.
That’s when I found this simple little tool that changed everything—the Feelings Wheel.
What Is the Feelings Wheel?
The Feelings Wheel is basically a map of emotions.
You start with broad stuff like happy, sad, angry, anxious. Then you drill down into more specific feelings, like “overwhelmed,” “proud,” or “irritated”.
Here’s why it’s so powerful:
Most of us (me included, back then) only had two settings: “I’m stressed” or “I’m fine.”
But when you can actually name what you’re feeling, you shift gears. You stop reacting on autopilot and start responding with intention.
It’s kind of like debugging your own system.
If you only see “Error: Something broke,” you panic. But if you get the actual error code? Suddenly you know where to look and what to fix. Same thing with your emotions.
Stress Isn’t the Enemy
We’re taught to see stress as “bad.” But that’s not the full picture.
There’s a big difference between acute stress and chronic stress.
Acute stress is that spike you feel when your manager puts you on the spot in a meeting. It’s sharp, it’s temporary, and honestly? It can even sharpen your focus.
Chronic stress is when that spike never goes away. It lingers, builds up, and starts draining your energy day after day. That’s the kind that burns people out.
And stressful situations will happen.
At work. Outside of work. There’s no escaping them. The key isn’t to avoid stress entirely (impossible). It’s to handle those acute spikes in a way that prevents them from turning into chronic stress.
For me, the Feelings Wheel became the tool to catch those spikes early.
To pause, name what was really happening, and keep a tough moment from snowballing into days of frustration.
Why This Matters for Data Scientists
Data science (and life) aren’t just Python and models.
It’s people.
It’s pressure.
It’s sitting in meetings where someone pokes holes in your work in front of everyone.
Back when I was new, here’s how it showed up for me:
In interviews: I would panic at a tough question and start rambling.
In meetings: I would get defensive when someone challenged my analysis.
In job rejections: I would spiral, telling myself I was a total failure.
But once I started using the Feelings Wheel, those same situations felt totally different.
Instead of just saying “I’m stressed,” I could recognize, “Oh—I’m actually feeling pressured” or “I’m feeling disappointed.”
And that tiny shift gave me just enough distance to choose my next move, instead of blowing up or shutting down.
The 3-Step Framework I Use Now
Here’s the simple process I lean on whenever I feel that emotional spike:
Pause – Literally just stop for a second. Don’t answer right away.
Label – Grab the Feelings Wheel in your head (or on your desk) and get specific. “I’m not just stressed, I’m overwhelmed.”
Respond – Pick the action that matches who I want to be, not just how I feel in the moment.
A Real Example
Okay, here is one straight from my early days. A hiring manager once pushed back on my portfolio project.
Old me?
Reaction: “That’s not fair, I worked so hard!” My voice would go sharp, I’d get flustered, and yeah…it wasn’t a good look.
But with the Feelings Wheel?
Response: “I notice I feel frustrated because my effort isn’t being recognized. Let me walk you through why I chose this approach.” Calm. Professional. Way better impression.
Same situation. Totally different outcome.
At the end of the day, emotions are just data.
And every dataset is easier to work with when it’s labeled.
That’s what the Feelings Wheel does. It takes the messy raw data of your feelings and makes it usable.
For me, it was the difference between being “the stressed new hire” and being someone my team could actually rely on in high-stakes moments.
And honestly? That’s an edge most data scientists completely overlook.
Want to Try It Yourself?
The Feelings Wheel has been such a game-changer for me that I keep a copy at my desk—and I’ve even given a few to teammates and friends.
You can grab one on Amazon here: 👉 Feelings Wheel on Amazon.
And honestly, I’d encourage you to do the same: get one for yourself, and maybe pick up an extra to gift to someone around you. You never know who’s quietly carrying a ton of stress, and this little tool could help them more than you realize.
Until next time,